Plus, how to get over the ick when everything is otherwise going well.
“The ick.”
The “ick factor.”
Photo: Getty Images - Design: Alex Sandoval
Getting “the ick.”
Although the term itself has been promulgated by Gen Z, the concept precedes the slang.
And as for why it arises?
“I absolutely think it’s fear,” she says.
*Cue ominous music.
*
Ahead, what it is, why it happens, and how to get over the ick.
What Is the Ick?
Yet, it’s a super common experience, says Cohen.
At the root of it, very often, getting the ick is a defense mechanism, she says.
As a result, those “good” behaviors can feel repulsive and unattractive, she says.
], you have to convince yourself that you don’t need those things."
It’s true that the ick doesn’t always result from the person doing nice things for you.
That may still be a defense mechanism at play.
“However, everyone you will ever come across has good and bad qualities.”
“A bad kiss or being ‘bad’ at sex can suddenly be a major turn-off.
This is different from having doubts down the line in a relationship.
If this is the case, give it time, says Cohen.
Three dates are usually long enough to gain clarity.
Waiting it out helps you to be able to discern whether the ick is something substantial or not.
Can You Get Over the Ick?
Think: Can you tolerate five minutes of it?
Ten minutes of it?
“The ick is a gut reaction, and you should always trust your gut,” she says.
It depends on whether the behaviors that irritate you are negotiable and whether they can change them.
Therapy serves as a way to talk about and work through what you’re experiencing, she says.
The key is to try.
