This past August, I was on a girls trip in Cape Cod.
Over a bottle of wine, the conversation turned to astrology.
When a friend of a friend asked about my partners sign, I told her hes a Cancer.
Oh, God, she said.
Are you all right?
Perplexed and very much all right I was shocked by her reaction.
In our six years together, Id never given his sun sign much thought.
Her reaction wasnt just the sauvignon blanc talking.
They have the power to create emotionally safe spaces for themselves and other people.
But for many, experiences with the sign of the crab have been more sour than secure.
They play a lot of mind games.
Whether or not they do this knowingly, though, can be hard to decipher.
A lot of [their] qualities are often stereotyped as being feminine or maternal, she says.
Brittany Beringer, an astrology writer (and former Bustle columnist), has dated two Cancer men.
Similarly, Michelle, 32, says both of her male Cancer exes used their feelings to their advantage.
[They] weaponize their emotions, she says.
But thats what happened.
While the pair had a pretty stable relationship, there were moments of chaos.
[They] would just feed off of each other and then spiral.
Crab-Sign Success Stories
Of course, theres nothing inherently wrong with Cancer men.
And it turns out, some are already well on their way to achieving that.
While Bens double-Cancer relationship resulted in a breakup, Morgan, 27, has had a different experience.
Shes a Cancer herself and has been with a Cancer man for the past three years.
Hes in therapy; he journals; he does meditation.
Morgans been called too sensitive in the past.
Being with her partner, though, has made her appreciate that part of herself instead of resent it.
He is the most emotionally intuitive person Ive ever met.
Personal circumstances and life experience will also determine how a person shows up in life.
Theres no one-size-fits-all situation when it comes to sun signs, Kahn says.
And free will also plays a part, too, according to Ben.
Of course, astrological destiny isnt everything.
But in the meantime, Morgan has a message: Hug the Cancer in your life, she says.
They need a little extra love.
