Plus, exactly how to respond with grace if you accidentally deadname someone.
The term “deadname” may sound like the name for a Grateful Dead cover band.
Put simply, it’s the name they no longer use.
Photo: Alex Sandoval
It seems easy enough to understand.
What Is Deadnaming?
As a refresher: Both coming out and transitioning mean different things based on who is doing the defining.
Someone’s deadname is simply a name somebody no longer uses or feels affirmed by.
Whether intentional or not, deadnaming is an act of violence.
But you are (usually!)
not invalidating their gender.
As a reminder: You cannot tell if someone is cisgender or transgender simply by looking at them.
But truthfully, it isn’t okay deadnaming is harmful even when done accidentally.
inform you, the right move is to thank them.
“Rationalizing your behavior is a defensive justification that will only exacerbate the situation,” says Vining.
Instead of rationalizing, let the person know you appreciate the correction.
Then, make an internal vow to do better next time.
As the saying goes, the best apology of all is a change in behavior.
