When it comes to relationships of all kinds knowing how and when to apologize is essential.
That said, it’s not easy for everyone.
After all, an apology also means acknowledging that you’ve done something wrong and fessing up to it.
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You’ve likely heard of thefive love languages.
What Are Apology Languages?
There are five types of apology languages, according toChapman and Thomas.
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Just like love languages, everyone has an apology language.
Expressing Regret
Example:“I feel bad that I didn’t XYZ.
I’m sorry.”
Accepting Responsibility
Example:“I’m sorry for XYZ.
I should not have done that, and there’s no excuse for it.”
Being able to hold yourself accountable for your behavior when you’re apologizing takes a lot.
Instead, you own it.
Genuinely Repenting
Example:“I’m genuinely sorry for XYZ.
Next time, I’ll XYZ instead, so it won’t happen again.”
The key thing here isverbalizing your desire to change.
Making Restitution
Example:“I’m sorry for XYZ.
Here’s what I’m going to do to make it right.”
(Finding out your partner’s love languageand then using that to “repay” them can help.)
Requesting Forgiveness
Example:“I’m sorry for XYZ.
I hope you’ll forgive me, but I understand you may need time to do that.”
Why Do Apology Languages Matter?
As humans, we’re ultimately flawed.
Resolution is the goal; making someone feel you just apologized for the sake of apologizing resolves nothing.
“This is essential if you want to be able to practice forgiveness andgrow together.
You should also keep in mind that your partner’s needs are just as important as your own.”
Being able to apologize for your own mistakes as well as accept apologies is fundamentally important in strengthening relationships.
