[00:00:03] He was incredibly generous, you know, and so romantic and just so wonderful.
Maybe help me, help with the invitations ‘cause I don’t want to deal with that.
But everything else, I’m planning everything, and you could’t ask me any questions."
[00:00:34] Welcome back to The Perfect Scam.
I’m your host, Bob Sullivan.
Benita Alexander has everything going for her.
And the two go on a magic carpet ride together.
Along the way he promises her a fairy tale wedding to be officiated by the Pope.
And they kind of laughed.
I mean most 8-year-olds will change their minds, you know, many times, but I never changed.
And then in radio, producing a radio talk show, and then in local television.
[00:02:31] Benita: Yeah, right!
And it’s, I was proud to work there.
[00:02:54] Bob: Benita focused on emotional stories, many involving children in tragic circumstances.
And we got involved and started doing the story, and it got very intense.
He actually brought him home on Christmas Day, and he and I are still in touch.
[00:04:22] Bob: And you had a happy ending.
That’s pretty unusual too.
And I, I think at least that it makes me a better writer and a better journalist.
It really affects you.
Creating artificial body parts.
They make it for you in the lab, right.
And so we were looking into this field, and we found this doctor.
One name kept coming up over and over again, Dr. Paolo Macchiarini.
And he’s getting noticed in the medical field.
He was kind of a rebel.
And he was putting artificial tracheas, the windpipe, into patients.
And the stem cells were supposed to magically integrate, and he was fixing people.
He was giving people who had no other hope.
He, he was supposed to be their last hope.
She finds that story in South Korea.
Her mother was Korean, and her dad, Canadian.
And she, unfortunately, was born with no windpipe.
She couldn’t eat.
She couldn’t do anything that a normal child could do.
She couldn’t run around and play.
[00:09:12] Bob: And so, Benita travels to Boston to meet the miracle worker for herself.
And so it was kind of the perfect case for us to focus our story around.
And we first met in early 2013.
And that’s where we met for the first time.
[00:10:16] Bob: And when they meet, well Benita is stunned by what happens.
I want, I just want to get the job done.
And whatever that is, let’s, let’s push that away, you know.
And I think I was even blushing.
I, I thought it was ridiculous.
But there was something, yeah, something happened between us the, the moment we met.
[00:11:55] Bob: And how old were you then?
[00:11:57] Benita: Ooh, you’re going to make me do math.
Um, (laugh) I was uh, in my 40s.
I mean it was, I felt butterflies, you know.
Not, not that kind of just instant, immediate spark.
[00:12:41] Bob: And you went forward with that weekend pushing the feeling aside, right?
I want to focus on work.
[00:12:57] Bob: And there is another reason Benita must focus on her work at the time.
It’s a very aggressive form of brain cancer.
And she was Daddy’s Little Girl.
She was 100% Daddy’s Little Girl, and he utterly adored her.
And I was really wrestling with all of it.
What to tell her.
We had a long time together on the flight from Korea to Illinois.
And I was, I was really moved by that.
And it’s Paolo who helps Benita figure out the best way to say goodbye.
The emotions of the moment overwhelm her.
And so he took me on his motorcycle along the Illinois River.
And he said, “Just tell me when you want to stop.”
And, and, and embraced me and held me so hard.
And one of those really, really tight embraces.
He was, he was just there when I needed somebody.
[00:17:24] Bob: He was there when she needed somebody.
And as they ride the motorcycle away from the river, the magic carpet ride takes off.
[00:17:51] Bob: Their relationship blossoms quickly.
Paolo showers Benita with affection.
He was a flair for the dramatic and plans one romantic encounter after another.
[00:18:02] Benita: Oh, there was so many.
I mean it got to the point where he loved to surprise me, everywhere we went.
And each surprise was a bigger wow factor than the last one.
You know we went on this incredibly romantic trip to Greece, and he was always videotaping me.
I was like why, why are you videotaping me again.
And you know, dozens of roses and champagne and always the best champagne.
And it was, it was things like this all the time.
It was kind of romance on steroids.
You know, “What did he do this time?
What did he do this time?”
Kind of like being in a fairy tale, you know.
[00:18:58] Bob: I love you in rose petals on the bed.
[00:19:00] Benita: Yes.
[00:19:01] Bob: It’s just making it harder for every man in the world.
[00:19:03] Benita: (laugh) Yeah, yep, yeah.
I literally felt like I was floating on clouds.
I was blissfully happy.
I was just giddy with happiness.
I truly was for a period there, happier than I think I’ve ever been.
He was incredibly generous, you know, and so romantic and just so wonderful.
My friends and my family all adored him.
He was incredibly generous with them as well.
You know, “You’ve, you’ve renewed my faith in love.”
[00:19:53] Bob: While the romance is intense, it’s also very secretive.
Benita has to keep a secret.
She was taking an incredible risk by getting involved with Paolo.
It could go out the window.
I said, I just, I can’t do this.
I was so conflicted about it.
It was killing me, and but I was also so in love with him.
You know he; he was sort of like Mr. [00:21:22] Benita: Tragically, Hannah passed away, which was, um, just devastating.
There’s so much she couldn’t do, but she had this sparkling personality.
I mean, and we didn’t know what to do.
How to, what do we do now?
How do we, how do we tell this story?
It was, it was really, really difficult.
But her death was awful.
You know, it was awful for her family.
Um, it hit all of us very, very hard.
Bo has begun asking questions about this medical miracle worker, so had some fellow researchers.
But at this point, they’re just questions.
[00:23:07] Bob: The first time you met him was where?
[00:23:10] Bo Lindquist: The first time was in Stockholm at the Karolinska Institute.
[00:23:17] Bob: Yeah, and…
[00:23:18] Bo Lindquist: Russia, Turkey.
But Bo at the time had no idea who it was.
All Bo knew was that Paolo was very charming.
[00:23:44] Bo Lindquist: Paolo was very well-dressed and very careful with his looks.
And I also had my beard uh, uh, cut there.
It was an excellent place.
And Paolo never talks about his personal life.
I mean we were there to speak about science, so I thought, okay.
[00:24:37] Bob: Paolo is a natural subject for a documentary film.
His work, if controversial, is also groundbreaking.
I mean not, not physically, but he could be quite uh frightening actually when he got angry.
[00:25:56] Bob: How did he take to being questioned?
[00:25:58] Bo Lindquist: I think he liked the challenge.
Uh, I think he actually appreciated being challenged to an extent.
And that frees up Benita to go public about their relationship.
[00:26:36] Benita: Paolo wanted a big, Catholic wedding.
And he’s Italian, and he wanted this big Catholic wedding in Italy.
I’ll take care of it."
And spent months, you know, this did not happen overnight.
And I said, “Well what are we going to do?”
Which sounds a bit absurd, however, he is an Italian surgeon.
He is one of the world’s leading cardio thoracic surgeons.
And I had seen paperwork that he had done work at the Vatican, consulting work.
So this is not really out of the realm of possibility that he would have contacts at the Vatican.
And he said, you know, I actually met with Pope Francis.
And I went, What?
You know and he said, And I, I have great news.
You know I said, What?
The Pope doesnt marry people.
I thought he was playing some kind of silly game with me.
And I got so irritated with him, I actually hung the phone up on him.
And so I thought, okay, maybe its not as crazy as it, as it sounds.
[00:30:34] Bob: Now your wedding is a cause.
[00:30:35] Benita: Yeah, exactly.
And so does anyone who has anything to do with the wedding.
[00:31:00] Bob: One of those nondisclosure agreements is signed by Matthew Christopher.
[00:31:04] Matthew Christopher: I’m a couture wedding gown designer.
[00:31:07] Bob: But what is a couture wedding gown designer?
[00:31:32] Bob: I mean that sounds like a very special process.
[00:31:35] Matthew Christopher: Yeah, it is a special process.
[00:31:37] Bob: Matthew is no stranger to dressing important people at important times.
Um, you know, they come in and I’d say, “Welcome to your closet.”
And she meets Christopher at his shop.
And I literally, I was really like, what?
I mean my, I mean my jaw was on the floor.
I didn’t even, I, I, I stopped in hesitation.
I’m never viewed like that, but I was definitely like, huh?
I was really taken back.
I didn’t know what to think.
[00:33:17] Bob: What he thinks is this is going to be an incredible challenge.
[00:33:22] Matthew Christopher: Right.
This was, I didn’t even know what to say.
[00:33:49] Matthew Christopher: I mean yeah, I’m like oh, look.
And I made it to this point.
This is totally different.
This was holy cow.
[00:34:26] Bob: Yeah.
I mean I’m going to achieve this; you know what I mean?
Give it to me.
I love some pressure, let’s go for it.
Well actually, dresses.
Because the, in itself, more gowns were added into the wedding.
So first it was about the wedding gown itself.
[00:34:59] Bob: When you went to her house, was Paolo there?
[00:35:01] Matthew Christopher: No, no, just her friends who are so much fun.
[00:35:25] Matthew Christopher: Um, gosh, 1-2-3 for her.
Oh, and a dance gown too, that was crazy fun.
I mean it was crazy.
On your mark, get set, go.
Quack, quack, quack.
We just made sure we took care of Benita.
[00:36:00] Matthew Christopher: On Valentine’s Day, I met him.
Oh my God, um, confident.
[00:36:06] Bob: What did you think?
I don’t know if I was nervous.
I don’t know what I was.
Of course, it’s Valentine’s Day, I’m like, oh my God.
I found him very um, hmm, he had a presence about him.
And that presence was really something, it was really something.
[00:36:51] Matthew Christopher: Yeah, yes, oh my gosh.
That makes me crazy.
But when it comes to the wedding, Paolo takes the lead.
And then every month there was a new surprise.
You know, all these celebrities were coming.
They live in the same area outside Florence.
And then John Legend was supposed to be playing piano in the church.
Elton John was going to be performing.
Maybe help me, help with the invitations ‘cause I don’t want to deal with that.
As a producer, for me that was next to impossible.
I’m, you know, I like, I like information.
I’m kind of a control, you know, right, I’m kind of a control freak.
You know he loves to surprise you.
You know this man adores you.
We had 300+ people coming from all over the world.
Just like, oh, the dance dress was crazy.
[00:39:48] Bob: What was crazy about it?
[00:40:15] Bob: With that dramatic entrance comes a dramatic exit too.
And we finally decided that we would live in Barcelona.
Anyone that knows anything about private schools in New York knows how hard that is.
And basically giving up everything.
Um, which is just something I never thought I would do, you know.
I was so career-driven, and so career-oriented, but I was madly in love.
I was, I was conflicted about it.
I was torn up about it, and my last day at NBC was in May of 2015.
So just under two months before the wedding, and it was just difficult.
I mean I, I loved NBC.
I loved my work at NBC.
I loved my life at NBC.
It was, it was a huge change and a huge change for my daughter.
My daughter who, you know, has been through a lot.
Who lost her dad.
So it was scary.
[00:41:47] Bob: But not as scary as what happens next.
And this trip had been planned for a very long time.
I just, I felt like somebody punched me in the stomach.
Um, I almost actually passed out.
What do they discover?
That’s next week on The Perfect Scam.
Call the AARP Fraud Watch web link Helpline at 877-908-3360.
Their trained fraud specialists can provide you with free support and guidance on what to do next.
Be sure to find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
For AARP’s The Perfect Scam, I’m Bob Sullivan.
