I cried and cried.
I would cover up my face.
Im your host, Bob Sullivan.
The criminal or criminals manipulated her into sending a large portion of her family’s life savings.
She was so distraught that she attempted to take her own life.
She survived thanks to quick work by her husband and local police.
A suicide expert tells us that financial distress is one warning sign for people at risk of self-harm.
When we left Kathy, she had been taken to a hospital where doctors cared for her physical wounds.
There was still a long road ahead to deal with her emotional wounds.
[00:01:27] Kathy Book: Yes.
I cried and cried.
I would cover up my face.
So I spent Christmas by myself.
And I was proud of myself.
[00:02:11] Bob: And then the hard work continued with extensive one-on-one therapy.
[00:02:36] Kathy Book: Oh no, it’s fine.
“The past is over.
I am at peace.”
“I am now in control.”
“I am safe and supported.”
“I can do this.”
“Process of positive change; I am freeing myself from stress.”
“I trust the process of life.”
“I am calm, confident, and powerful.”
“I’m ridding my mind of negative thoughts and filling them with positive ones.”
“I am proud of all that I am.”
“The only approval I’ll ever need is mine.”
“My inner gifts will change the world.”
“I am capable of solving any problems that face me.”
[00:03:41] Bob: Those are all very beautiful.
Do–, does it help you?
[00:03:44] Kathy Book: Yes, absolutely, yes.
So she’s gone back to work at age 73, but that has had surprise benefits too.
And the place I work, I don’t know whether you ever heard of Wawa?
[00:04:10] Bob: Oh, of course.
[00:04:12] Kathy Book: So it’s a half a mile from my house.
Fortunately, there’s been some relief on that side of the story too.
it’s possible for you to sort of see light at the end of the tunnel, right?
[00:05:20] Kathy Book: Yes.
Remember from last episode Kathy had spent last Christmas season worried sick about everything that was happening.
I wanted to throw up.
God just does these little things for me all the time.
[00:06:16] Bob: You got to have your Christmas back.
This year marked Kathy’s 50th wedding anniversary with her husband, Larry.
And I kind of didn’t know, but he said we should.
I said, okay.
So I called the church; they had the date open.
I called the country club where he golfs.
They had the date open.
And this was in March I started this.
And they were available.
Everything was available, and it was like it was meant to be.
And I was so grateful for that.
[00:07:26] Bob: Kathy’s still nervous to see all her family and friends in person.
Many for the first time since everything that happened.
It could mean not hanging out with people that you would normally hang out with.
[00:08:43] Bob: Context matters and careful listening can help.
We, like we love you.
Like of course we, of course you belong, right?
And not, and not hear it as a suicidal statement.
Again, any one of the things that I mentioned, it could just be a Wednesday, right?
You know it’s like, oh, so and so had too much to drink tonight.
Somebody isn’t getting a lot of sleep.
I wonder if this person is having thoughts of ending their life.
But you don’t know what to do.
You might even be afraid to bring up the subject that you might do more harm than good.
That’s only natural too.
you might’t make somebody suicidal by asking them the question, having you been having thoughts of killing yourself?
[00:12:14] Bob: That seems like a really important piece of information.
So I’m going to ask you to talk a little bit more about that.
[00:12:30] Jonathan Singer: That’s right.
And they say to me, uh, no.
And then you have the conversation.
That’s not, that’s not going to happen, right?
Well what is the next step someone should take?
Right, which is kind of the generic way of saying, do you have a plan?
And so for, for all of these scenarios, one option is always to call 988.
988 is the suicide and crisis lifeline.
And so that’s what you’re going for.
And I know lots of people that it would change their life for the worse.
And I would love for you to be able to talk to somebody about what’s going on.
Would it be okay if I called the crisis line right now?
She told me that she knows how to end her life.
That she’s been looking up ways on the internet to do it.
And, and then when we were on the phone, she hung up.
She lives at this address.
Can you go do a welfare check?
And again, only in the most rare circumstances is there the need for law enforcement.
Here’s what to do in that case.
[00:23:49] Bob: Life affirming like Kathy’s affirmation cards.
Like let’s say your core belief is I’m a failure.
Or nobody loves me.
Or I’m unlovable.
Or I’m, I, I can’t trust myself.
Nobody should trust me, right?
So let’s say those are some core beliefs.
Or every day I can make choices that will benefit me and others.
But some other risk factors might also be a surprise.
And so we hear a lot about how suicide is one of the biggest killers in adolescents.
But that’s because adolescents don’t die by other things, right?
So for example, in 2021, almost 70% of suicide deaths were white males.
As scary as that can be.
And there is plenty of help for that group too.
And it’s like somebody who has been diagnosed with diabetes, right?
They have to do things to keep themselves healthy.
But it’s possible that you might continue to have those thoughts, and you’re not alone.
Who, who do you talk to?
A big part of that involves forgiveness, she says.
She learned a lot about forgiveness when she was in group therapy.
And they did that.
They gave me papers about that.
And then we talked about how to forgive yourself.
And I learned so much there.
[00:31:11] Bob: But like so many things, forgiveness takes time.
Kathy is still learning to let go of the past.
[00:31:20] Kathy Book: We’re not rich, but we were, we’re comfortable.
We’re able to pay our bills, you know.
And I messed that up, and I just feel so bad about that.
That was one of the reasons why I wanted to punish myself.
[00:31:31] Bob: And that’s why forgiveness is so important.
[00:31:34] Kathy Book: Yes.
[00:31:35] Bob: But it’s not like an on/off switch, it’s a process.
But…
[00:32:08] Kathy Book: It all worked out perfectly.
The decorations on the table, my neighbor helped me with that.
And I told them, I want you to wear your communion dresses for my party.
And I had them, I wrote this down for them.
And then they stood with their parents, and then the guy says, “All right.
Are you ready to dance?”
And we said, “Yes.”
And then he played, “We are Family.”
[00:33:16] Bob: (chuckles) That’s great.
So you know we just had a really, really beautiful, nice time.
[00:33:32] Kathy Book: I know.
I’m so, I will never take anything for granted.
[00:33:55] Bob: And then, all those 40 people were there to celebrate that you did.
[00:33:59] Kathy Book: Yes.
[00:34:00] Bob: We are family.
I can’t think of a better ending to this part of Kathy’s story.
[00:34:23] Kathy Book: Yes.
So I’m dedicated to advocate for others who may become victims of these scammers.
This is the first time that I’m doing a podcast.
And they were interviewing her.
They did a report on her that she did the same thing as me.
And Kate is inspiring.
We’re happy to know Kate inspired Kathy to come forward and talk about her journey.
[00:35:43] Kathy Book: Don’t do it.
Go get some help.
Talk to a therapist if you don’t want to talk to your family and start there.
So that you could keep your life and you put yourself back in charge now.
If I did, anybody can.
Well I’m, I’m proof that you might.
But talking is the best first step.
Go to a therapist.
And I’m sure you know you give them the situation; they’ll take you.
There are plenty of resources.
Most of all, know that you aren’t alone.
There are people who will listen and help.
That’s what we all want for each other, especially here at The Perfect Scam family.
Call the AARP Fraud Watch web link Helpline at 877-908-3360.
Their trained fraud specialists can provide you with free support and guidance on what to do next.
That address again is: theperfectscampodcast@aarp.org.
Be sure to find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
For AARP’s The Perfect Scam, I’m Bob Sullivan.
Theemotional wounds of scamsare deep, but Kathy is healing by sharing her story.
This episode contains discussion of suicide.
