I’m your host, Bob Sullivan.
Time is of the essence, which is why we’ve topped today’s episode with this news.
you could find a handy list of gift card contact information athttps://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/avoiding-and-reporting-gift-card-scams.
But Kathy Book is a survivor and her story will show you two really important things.
But it’s a party she almost missed.
[00:02:39] Kathy Book: I have a wonderful family.
[00:02:47] Bob: 50 years!
[00:02:50] Kathy Book: Thank you.
I hope I can keep my composure here.
[00:03:04] Bob: Take all the time you need.
That’s, I, I understand, this is hard.
But I now realize that I was very depressed and had a lot of anxiety about the pandemic.
We, I had to cancel our cruise that we had booked.
We couldn’t visit or see our family or friends.
And they seemed nice.
[00:04:08] Kathy Book: Yes, yes.
[00:04:09] Bob: Yeah.
And he was fine with that.
[00:04:55] Bob: Their friendly banter continues for several months.
It was nice at that time.
Then convinced me to get on What’s App so we could talk more.
His friendship is a great diversion.
And he would pay me back.
[00:05:44] Bob: But this was just a couple of bucks, right?
[00:05:46] Kathy Book: Yeah, you know, $100 card, you know.
[00:05:50] Bob: Yeah, yeah.
He was going to get disconnected.
[00:06:01] Kathy Book: Yes.
[00:06:03] Bob: Kathy decides to send the $100.
And then he asked me for more because he was working on, in Mexico on a road project.
[00:06:29] Bob: The requests start to increase quickly.
Because he’s overseas, he says he needs thousands of dollars in cash.
Kathy doesn’t have immediate access to that kind of money, but she knows how to get it.
[00:06:43] Kathy Book: I borrowed cash from my credit cards.
And again, he would pay me back.
I mean, you know, it was a legal as, as anything can look.
[00:07:04] Bob: Thousands of dollars becomes tens of thousands of dollars during the next several weeks.
Richard promises he’s going to pay Kathy back, very, very soon.
And finally, he gets that big paycheck he’s been waiting for.
So he offers to send Kathy the money he’s borrowed from her.
But there’s a catch.
He says he can only send cash.
And he had to send the money to me.
Oh, he couldn’t do that.
So can I send money and send it through bitcoin and, and Apple gift cards.
She really needs to get that money he borrowed back.
Is that what he asked?
[00:08:20] Kathy Book: Yes.
[00:08:51] Kathy Book: I think I was like up to around 85,000.
[00:08:55] Bob: Wow.
It sounds like $85,000 was a, a lot to you and your husband.
[00:09:01] Kathy Book: Yes.
We’re not rich, but we were, we’re comfortable.
We were able to pay our bills, you know.
This went on and I started to have total anxiety about this.
Um, I was up against a wall.
I just wanted for this to be over.
Um, I was sick of it.
Uh I was in a lot of debt because of him.
I was realizing that.
And I had nowhere to turn.
[00:09:53] Bob: I’m so sorry.
That sounds like so isolating.
[00:09:58] Kathy Book: It was, it was terrible.
Um, um…
[00:10:07] Bob: Take your time.
I couldn’t eat or sleep.
Um, I cried all the time.
I would go into the bathroom and cry so my husband wouldn’t see me.
And um, I just, for weeks I just was thinking about how could I take my life?
How could I get away from this, you know?
[00:11:06] Bob: She realizes she’s the victim of a crime.
She isn’t getting her money back.
It has been stolen by a criminal or criminals.
Kathy is going to have to face family and friends, everyone with the devastating news.
And she wants to do just about anything other than that.
[00:12:07] Bob: That sounds so painful.
[00:12:10] Kathy Book: It is.
[00:13:00] Kathy Book: This was general classes with different kinds of people in there.
And I was the oldest one of all of them.
And I even asked them, I said, how?
And they did that.
They gave me papers about that.
And then we talked about how to forgive yourself.
And that’s what has helped me to get back to my old self.
My new self I should say.
[00:14:19] Bob: Hmm, a new and improved self, yes.
[00:14:22] Kathy Book: Yes, new and improved self.
That the world was better off with her in it.
And who have left deep emotional wounds in many victims.
She specializes in prosecuting computer crimes in and around Silicon Valley.
And she says she’s now seeing many, many more very serious cases like Kathy’s.
But Erin will tell you the phenomenon is becoming more common.
And then the loss of the relationship also cannot be understated.
Like they really, I think question everything about their entire existence.
[00:18:08] Bob: And like Kathy, some are in need of immediate help.
And so if they’re open to it, I will, I will make referrals.
[00:18:55] Erin West: I have done that.
[00:18:57] Bob: What’s that feel like?
[00:19:00] Erin West: I, I had to take some time off after it.
Um, it, it’s, it’s a lot.
And, and so it, it feels awful.
That’s what happened to Kathy.
That there are people who really care, and there are people that really want to help you.
And there are people who will listen to you and be there for you.
Friendships can be repaired.
Um, but we can’t live with you being gone.
So we reached out to Jonathan Singer.
[00:23:36] Jonathan Singer: I am a Social Work Professor at Loyola University-Chicago.
I’ve been a Clinical Social Worker for over 25 years.
I’m the co-author of the bestseller, “Suicide in Schools.”
I’m the past president of the American Association of Suicidology.
I serve on lots of national boards related to uh suicide prevention and suicide awareness.
And about 1.7 million report a suicide attempt.
In 2021, it was just over 48,000 people who died by suicide.
When you have people who experience significant economic downturn, it increases suicide deaths in the population.
[00:26:44] Jonathan Singer: Yes, absolutely.
[00:27:48] Bob: Another misconception about suicide is understanding which age groups are at a higher risk.
The highest rate of suicide is men over the age of 85.
So that feeling of burden and guilt is, is overwhelming.
[00:29:08] Jonathan Singer: That’s right.
[00:29:44] Bob: Kathy felt all those things.
So how does Kathy learn how to forgive herself, how to accept the forgiveness of her family?
How does she make it to that 50th wedding anniversary party?
Well, that’s next week on The Perfect Scam.
Call the AARP Fraud Watch web link Helpline at 877-908-3360.
Their trained fraud specialists can provide you with free support and guidance on what to do next.
That address again is: theperfectscampodcast@aarp.org.
Be sure to find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
For AARP’s The Perfect Scam, I’m Bob Sullivan.
She enjoys the diversion of playingWords With Friendsand soon strikes up a friendship with a fellow player.
He says he is stuck in Mexico and having trouble accessing his accounts.
Distraught and ashamed, Kathy begins to havethoughts of suicide.
This is the story of one womans survival from the darkest of days.
This episode contains discussion of suicide.
