Give to one organization and within weeks you start hearing from dozens of them.
Your personal information has been shared and sold.
They’re exempt from the DO NOT CALL list.
And as you’ll hear from today’s guests, some go way too far.
They claim you’ve pledged a donation when you haven’t.
These bad actors hurt consumers, and they hurt honest charities doing good work too.
[00:02:01] Bob: Where did you grow up, Kay?
Were you in Germany when you went to high school?
[00:02:25] Bob: And what did your dad do in the military?
[00:02:37] Bob: Kay’s dad was a truly impressive man.
Mom was equally impressive.
In addition to a lot of other things, she was a bridgemaster.
That helped the family get settled in wherever they landed in the world.
[00:03:01] Kay Bransford: So she actually ran bridge games.
And she did that for like 30 years.
[00:03:30] Bob: That sounds so lovely.
What a beautiful way to make friends.
[00:03:35] Kay Bransford: Uh-hmm.
[00:03:36] Bob: Kay’s mom also made sure the bills were paid as the family accountant.
They were away fighting a war.
So the women had to manage the checkbook.
[00:03:55] Bob: When Mom and Dad retire, they end up in the northern Virginia area.
His memory’s not so good."
And Dad would say, “Something’s wrong with Mom.
Her memory’s not so good.”
[00:05:09] Kay Bransford: I did.
Kay’s parents have always been generous.
They’d set aside $10,000 every year, and carefully picked charities they wanted to donate to.
But right about then things change.
[00:05:41] Kay Bransford: In 2011, I started noticing them writing checks differently.
So I knew their system of doing that.
And when I’d ask her, oh, you know, what does that group do?
She could never tell me; she wasn’t even really sure what the charity was for.
[00:06:23] Bob: While Kay is noticing that problem, her father’s condition worsens.
He’s diagnosed with cancer in 2012, and soon after, passes away.
So I spent a lot more time with her once Dad passed away because she was very lonely.
[00:07:25] Bob: Thank God she had you.
[00:07:26] Kay Bransford: Yes, I was lucky to be able to do it.
She even takes some drastic measures to stop it.
[00:07:44] Bob: Did you do anything at first about it?
[00:07:46] Kay Bransford: No, not really.
Other than have a go at ask probing questions and why them?
[00:08:03] Bob: (chuckles) Very practical, honestly.
[00:08:13] Kay Bransford: It made her feel good.
And that’s, you know, what I’ve learned is giving makes people feel good.
It just is a feeling of overwhelm and dread.
I mean how much?
[00:09:35] Bob: Wow.
[00:09:36] Kay Bransford: A month.
[00:09:37] Bob: I mean 5 or 10 a day, that’s crazy.
[00:09:40] Kay Bransford: Yeah.
[00:09:53] Kay Bransford: Right.
When they did visit, they would, you know, find hoarded piles of mail in unusual places.
And Kay is blogging about her experience with her parents, sharing some of these practical tips.
She sees the same pattern with other families.
It would just slowly be building.
[00:11:13] Bob: Kay sees some really awful things.
“That’s like, John, he calls, and he was raising money for XYZ.”
[00:12:29] Bob: That sounds like a really good piece of advice, yeah.
God, what a terrible story.
You got, got her a new credit card?
[00:12:39] Kay Bransford: We did.
She’s going to keep using the same old number.
So, so they, they stopped calling because it was a bad credit card number.
So once I did things in tandem with her, it was easy for her to handover the checkbook.
Or you don’t have to do that anymore.
So they actually gave away less money when she was writing those checks.
But that is a rare case.
She is buried in Arlington National Cemetery right next to her husband.
Kay has now turned working with caregivers into a fulltime gig and business.
Memory Bank even earned an AARP Foundation Prize for older adult focused innovation back in 2013.
Kay says there are many reasons a victim might donate to all these various causes.
Her mom taught her that.
[00:15:21] Kay Bransford: It made her feel good.
She’s going to continue to answer the telephone.
And I still struggle with that today because, and especially with COVID, they’re isolated.
When they haven’t talked to anyone all day, they’ll gladly answer the phone.
And so, of course, you’re going to answer it.
And they feel good giving money.
It’s just horrible.
There’s just, the power of loneliness is overwhelming.
[00:17:04] Kay Bransford: It is.
And, and I, I’ve had, I’ve had a woman actually tell me that.
He made me very happy.
Laurie sees the same problems Kay sees all the time.
I suggest to Laurie that that sounds like depressing work.
They’re passing up other, you know, more lucrative jobs to do meaningful work.
So how do people sort out this problem?
There’s a couple things that happen here.
And um, telemarketing calls, they can be the same way.
They have a script.
You know, they’re, they’re, they have an answer for everything.
Can you help me out?"
That’s what a lot of people think.
[00:21:38] Laurie Styron: Because these are professional fundraisers, they have a lot of different clients.
So you donate 50 bucks to a cancer research charity, right?
So, you donate 50 bucks to a charity that say helps rescue horses, right.
And then maybe that charity has a lot of other different programmings that it’s soliciting you under.
Well it might not be.
So I asked Laurie about that.
[00:23:14] Bob: How often does that kind of thing come up?
They will do what works.
So, you know, they kind of know that they tested this out and it worked.
That can be even harder, and as people get older.
But they do have, they’re starting to have some memory issues.
[00:24:30] Bob: Laurie has some pretty straightforward advice for situations like this.
Or didn’t I?
[00:25:12] Bob: Yeah, I like that.
It doesn’t matter whether you did or you didn’t.
You’re allowed to change your mind.
[00:25:15] Laurie Styron: Exactly.
It kind, it kind of gets around that whole question altogether, yeah.
But it’s not easy.
It’s, it’s a lot of pressure on that generation of people.
So people do have some tools available.
[00:27:17] Bob: you’ve got the option to write your own letter too.
Don’t send that letter to the fundraising company, send it directly to the charity.
Pick your charities carefully and don’t be swayed by solicitations in the mail or on the phone.
So, the number one reason Americans donate to charity is because they are asked.
you might’t solve all the world’s problems by yourself, right.
Or not solicit me more than once a year.
And then just stop.
Don’t reactively respond to these fundraising letters.
[00:31:04] Bob: CharityWatch has even set aside free pamphlets for you, Perfect Scam listeners.
And then there was a, a veteran’s charity that um, ended up being highly efficient.
I’m pretty sure that one got an A+.
So it’s really a mixed bag.
Like that should not be what makes your decision for you.
[00:32:17] Bob: Do you want our listeners to send you brochures they get?
So, you know, donors beware.
[00:32:48] Bob: I think this is great.
I’m going to give people homework.
And even if the criminals are caught, the victims rarely, if ever, get their money back.
There’s a lot of rules they have to follow.
So I asked Laurie to tell me where the line is.
Charities are allowed to send you a letter.
I think an example is the best way to illustrate this, right.
They make it very personal.
And it really, really makes you want to donate, right?
Most of it is legal because they’re not specifically promising you something very specific.
[00:35:41] Bob: God, you’re depressing me.
[00:36:11] Bob: And Laurie has some pretty specific types of solicitations for you to worry about.
Those are the categories to, to watch out for in particular.
Also, police and firefighter groups is another one.
Pizza, cars, and charities?
Be careful how you spend your money, however you are spending it.
I mean that’s just no; I mean it’s not a way to buy a car.
It’s not a way to order a pizza.
That’s not a way to donate to charity.
And find a way to confirm they can still feel the true joy of being generous.
It’s, that checkbook is really meaning and purpose.
And give them an opportunity to give.
If they really want to give that money, find places that they’re used to giving.
Can they, you know, do they tithe?
So there’s ways to still give them the ability to sit down and write that check.
[00:39:27] Bob: Boy is that an interesting thing to say.
You are absolutely right.
[00:39:36] Kay Bransford: Uh-huh.
[00:39:37] Bob: Laurie has one final thought for Perfect Scam listeners.
So I’m just going to send $5 to each charity that asks me.
[00:40:57] Laurie Styron: Well, people really care, you know.
It’s because we want to do good things.
And that’s a wonderful thing, right.
Call the AARP Fraud Watch connection Helpline at 877-908-3360.
Their trained fraud specialists can provide you with free support and guidance on what to do next.
Be sure to find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
For AARP’s The Perfect Scam, I’m Bob Sullivan.
She quickly discovers a caregivers nightmare: An abundance of questionable charities have homed in on her generous parents.
CharityWatch director Laurie Styron shares advice on how to be cautious while still being generous.
