Q:Im seeing someone new.
The first time we hooked up, he kissed and licked my feet.
It kind of threw me, but I went along with it.
Afterward, he told me he has a thing for feet.
Sometimes people are going to suggest or do things that make you horny years later just to recall.
Other times, well, someones gonna lick your toes.
Many are acts that I wouldnt mind on occasion if a partner expressed desire to do so.
Even if its their birthday.
Even if they just want to try it once.
The answer is no!
But that doesnt sound like where youre at.
When it comes to his interest in feet, it seems like youre… fine.
That said, his fetish should not become the focus.
It doesnt have to come up every time you havesexbecause it isnt actively turning you on.
It might not be a turnoff,but its something youre only doing for him.
I would not go to a sushi restaurant every single night.
Sex isnt tit for tat, but it is supposed to be mutually beneficial.
Be open with your boyfriend about where youre at right now.
Maybe youre totally fine with him choosing your pedicure color, but you dont like sendingfeet pics.
Maybe youre OK with the occasional foot massage before sex, but youre turned off by full-on toe sucking.
Im not into X or Y, but I think Id be OK with Z.
Lets try it and see how it goes.
As a heads up, Im not going to want to do this every time we have sex.
Your preferences might change in the future; thats to be expected.
The sex you have with a long-term partner shifts and adjusts naturally.
Maybe you find out that youre more into foot stuff than you expected.
Or you guys both get into another, moremutual kink.
Sex lives and drives and desires change.
As for being embarrassed about foot play?
It shouldnt be embarrassing by any means, but its certainly a common punchline, so I get it.
The good news: You dont owe anyone a play-by-play of your sex life.
Its phenomenal that youre opening up to each other about your desires.
kindly confirm youre also bringing up whatyoureinto, too!
This conversation might be a good time to do so.
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