It’s A Pleasure
It’s hurting our sex life and he doesn’t seem to care.
He gives quick pecks; I have to ask for more, and they are never what I want.
We have a good sex life when we have it, but its not that often.
I have ahigher sex drivethan him, which I have mentioned to him to some extent.
Weve discussed this a few times, but the conversations never go well, and nothing seems to change.
The common thread here is that you arent feeling desired or cared for enough.
However,they arent backed by science.
Its like saying youre a Miranda or a Carrie or a Ginger Spice, Scary Spice rising.
I say this not to burst any bubbles, but to encourage you to look beyond this concepts rigidity.
Heres Your Homework
For a moment, forget about your preferred ways of receiving love.
Consider the situation from your partners perspective.
What are the ways he believes hes showing you love?
Then your job is to notice when hes doing those things.
Part of loving someone is accepting where they are.
I know its frustrating!
Every person has flaws.
After a little tweaking on both sides, does your boyfriends particular combo of traits work for you?
Generous thinking tends to beget more generous thinking.
Want A Book Rec?
Good to know for the future, I guess?
But we need to go now!
have to go to him and be very, very clear.
Like directing a pet sitter to care for your elderly, diabetic dog on five medications clear.
Lay out how you feel, explain the stakes, and thenlisten to his take on it.
Is he convinced hes been putting in a bunch of effort?
Is he shocked to hear your assessment?
Is he in agreement?
You might be surprised!
Relationship problems, Im very sorry to report, often have to be brought up repeatedly.
Its A Pleasure appears here every other Thursday.
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