It’s A Pleasure
I always catch him staring at other women.
Q:Theres this guy that Ive been dating for three years now and we were doing great.
When we met, I was 57 and petite.
He said I was his jot down.
Now, Im 510 and pretty muscular.
My boyfriend hates my physique.
I have a feeling that it makes him insecure, but he denies it each time I ask him.
Hes also 510 but pretty lean.
Ive beenworking outsince we met, so he shouldnt be surprised Id end up this way.
What should I do?
You should treat yourself to something really, really nice and celebrate not having to date this guy anymore.
In front of you!
(I am massively anti-break.
Theyre a crappy, cowardly way of ending things.)
Dont worry about us getting back together!
Enjoy your life, hope to never speak to you again!
Of course, life isnota movie.
You dont have to be that harsh or flippant.
But you do need tobreak upfor good.
So end things and then grieve.
Get sad, get mad, get weepy.
Cry in bed and on the bus.
Flirt with someone at the gym!
Join a dance class!
Get really into making sourdough bread!
And Im serious c’mon do go out and celebrate no longer being with this man.
I am not suggesting that youre imagining things; Im sure youre good at reading his vibes.
You are guessing and speculating.
Based on his behavior, this is not unreasonable, but it isyourversion of his thoughts.
His opinions on your body, whatever they may be, do not matter.
Theyre simply not your business, as important as his opinion onmybody or Zendayas.
That is, irrelevant.
None of us needs to care what some random man thinks about our body.
And theyre thinking, Is it not human to prefer certain body types?
To them, I would gently say, Uhhh, sure.
Its a body.Bodies change.That is maybe the hallmark of bodies!
Its why were not all little babies with 300 bones; instead were grown adults with 206 bones.
We get new teeth!
Our hips start to hurt!
Our jaw clicks kind of weirdly!
That is a body.
Beyond that, three years into a relationship, someone shouldnt be just a body to you.
They should be a feeling.
Love come to life.
Its not wrong and it doesnt make them bad, bad, bad.
What counts is what they do with that truth.
I lovingly encourage you to leave it behind, or better yet, throw it out.
Its A Pleasure appears here every other Thursday.
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