Shortly before the ceremony, I set out for a brief stroll.
I didnt even fill up my water bottle, because I wasnt going to be gone long.
I called the retreat manager for help, and he told me, Just go through the yellow gate.
But as it turns out, there was more than one yellow gate.
Before long, I found myself lost in dense forest.
I headed uphill to find a clearing where I might be seen.
There were a few wild flowers, so I tried to get moisture from them.
Once the sun set, I fell into a deep sleep on redwood chips.
I knew the search-and-rescue teams must be looking for me, but I couldnt hear any sign of them.
Id dropped my phone along the way, so I couldnt be located that way.
I was never hungry.
Hunger doesnt enter into it when youre dying of thirst.
And I knew I had to find clean water or I would die.
When Id had enough, I started climbing again.
Years of doing yoga gave me the strength to keep moving, keep scrambling.
By the end of the second day, I could feel my body breaking down.
Id been tripping, taking some hard falls.
I sat down, but I was afraid to sleep.
I have a nocturnal seizure disorder, and of course I didnt have my medication with me.
I watched the rise of the full moon and spent the entire night in prayerful meditation.
I also prayed, Thank God this is happening to me.
Thank God this isnt happening to some child.
The morning of the third day, I started shedding clothes, to leave a trail of clues.
Then I lay down in the shade.
I was utterly exhausted.
By that day, there were 73 search-and-rescue volunteers looking for me, as well as seven scent dogs.
The dogs did find some of my clothes, and then a drone located me.
It was several more hours before the rescuers could cut through the brush and reach me.
They were surprised to find me alive.
With death, sometimes its just your time.
I didnt feel it was my time yet.
We are so much more powerful than we realize, no matter what state our body may be in.
Our hearts are what lead us.
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