From wet tongues to pleading eyes four women get real about the havoc dogs wreak in the bedroom.
We walked into a horrible stench.
My dog had terrible diarrhea, she tells Bustle.
Ultimately, the diarrhea proved to be a mood-killer, and no sex was had that night.
When they finally did the deed, it wasnt without hiccups.
My apartment was a studio, and there were no doors to close.
Being a boisterous puppy, she ended up getting a little too involved, June says.
She brought a toy!
Fortunately, Chewbacca didnt derail things entirely.
Although many claim that having a baby is the biggest hurdle to having sex (so many sleepless nights!
), dogs are giving them a run for their money.
Unsurprisingly, canines are the… top dogs, with65.1 million householdshaving at least one.
Nowhere in our evolutionary history have we ever wanted dogs to be what we want them to be now.
Emily and her fiance are one of those millennial couples who opted for a dog over a baby.
So weve just gotten used to it, Emily says of having the dog in the room.
Although I cant say I love giving head with her seemingly staring into my soul.
But some canines are simply too large for any semblance of threes company.
Like Aubreys 95-pound Great Dane mix that looks like a sexy Scooby-Doo and has scared off multiple suitors.
Nowadays, Ziggy usually minds his own business, in the bedroom and otherwise.
Aubreys current boyfriend identifies as Ziggys zaddy, but the dogs loyalty is still with mom.
Wolves get very jealous of their primary partner, and they interrupt copulation, she says.
Do dogs understand whats going on?
But when theres lots of excited, happy noises coming from somewhere and theyre not involved?
(Woods advice for peaceful quiet time?
Envy can make us all act a little crazy.
I mean, is howling outside the door really all that different than shooting a drunk text?
And isnt jumping onto the bed just a dogs version of aStage 5 virgin clinger?
But no dog got their revenge quite like Mackenzines little girl, Boodini.
Boodini: 1, Mackenzine: 0.
- Names have been changed for anonymity even the dogs.
