It was horrible in there, he said, shuffling to my car.
There was snoring and groaning all night long.
And the lights were on.
And I had to sleep on a thin mattress on a slab.
And the blanket was itchy.
And there wasnt a seat on the toilet.
And whatd you get this morning?
Did you get a breakfast sandwich?
The food was okay, he said.
I just couldnt sleep with the snoring.
I thought jail would be better.
I didnt think thered be snoring.
Are you taking me home now?
We need to talk first, I said.
Im looking for a coin.
Paul Mori gave it to Vinnie as security just before Vinnie bailed you out.
Somehow, Vinnie immediately lost it.
Gee, bummer, Beedle said.
I did my best impression of Morelli interrogating a suspect.
Calm demeanor with just a hint of dont attempt to shit me.
How would I know?
You picked Vinnies pocket, and you took the coin.
Do you want us to send you back to jail?
Then tell me about the coin.
I did a mental double take.
I hadnt expected it to be this easy.
Truth is, Id thought chances were zero to slim that he had taken the coin.
This questioning went under the category of no stone left unturned.
My understanding is that it was worthless, I said.
Just a commemorative coin.
True, it was a commemorative coin, but it wasnt worthless.
It was a collectible.
It came with a board game thats no longer being produced, The Treasure of Gowa.
It was huge back in the day.
Not so much now.
Who did you sell it to?
Benji at the comic book store downtown.
That store is awesome.
Yeah, Beedle said.
He gave me twenty bucks.
Do I get to go home now?
Not yet, I said.
We need to get the coin back, and you should probably identify it.
Whats the big deal about the coin?
It has sentimental value, I said, opening the back door for Beedle.
The comic book store was on a side street, minutes away from the municipal building.
I found a parking place and we all marched in.
Benji came out from behind the counter and did a complicated geek high-five thing with Beedle.
Lula went straight to the action figure collection.
Benji said to Beedle.
Whats with the ladies?
Theyre interested in that coin I brought in.
The Knights Templar one.
I knew I would.
I knew this dude would want it.
Hes in all the time.
He goes nuts over anything thats got mummies or knights.
Almost messed himself when he saw the coin.
Do you have his name?
Thats all confidential, Benji said.
We take our customer information real serious here.
Lula came over with a box in her hand.
How much is Thor?
Forty-nine ninety-five, Benji said.
Thats robbery, Lula said.
I could get him online for half that price.
This is collectible quality, Benji said.
The box has never been opened.
I dont care about that, Lula said.
Do you have a cheaper Thor?
You might try the toy department at Target, Benji said.
They usually have a good selection of Avengers.
About the coin, I said to Benji.
I need a name and an address.
What do you mean by no can do?
Are you telling us you arent going to cooperate with the police?
Are you the police?
Were almost the police, Lula said.
Were technically law enforcement.
Especially me since Im a temporary replacement office manager.
Well, I sell comic books and collectibles and Ive got a code of conduct to uphold.
Customer confidentiality is paramount here, Benji said.
Lula leaned in so that their noses were almost touching.
Comic books dont require confidentiality.
Nobody cares who buys Donald Duck or who buys Spider-Man.
And anyway, we arent even talking about a comic book.
Were talking about a stolen coin that you fenced.
I didnt know it was stolen, Benji said.
Dont matter, Lula said.
You did it all the same.
Seems to me you should cooperate with us law enforcers so we can return it to its rightful owner.
Benji looked over at Beedle, and Beedle shrugged.
The dudes name is Melvin Sparks, Benji said.
I dont have an address or anything.
He pays in cash.
Do you know why someone would really, really want this coin?
Whats special about it?
Not a lots special about it except that they arent making any more of them, Benji said.
Sparks wants it because hes a collector.
Thats what collectors do.
Okay, I get that, I said.
Can you give me a description of the coin?
He printed a picture of it and gave it to me.
Theres a knight Templar on one side in classic pose with his sword, Benji said.
Theres a cross and some writing on the other side.
If you look close it’s possible for you to see the writing says The Treasure of Gowa.
Good enough, I said to Benji.
We returned to my car, and I typed Melvin Sparks, Trenton, New Jersey into my smartphone.
Hes at 1207 Kerry Street, apartment 5B, I said.
I know where that is, Lula said.
Thats a mediocre neighborhood.
Its not horrible and its not great.
You see what Im saying?
Its mostly safe because the cars arent interesting enough to steal.
I took State Street to South Central, drove one block on South Central, and turned onto Kerry.
Sparkss building was on the corner.
It was six floors of unadorned masonry and double-hung windows.
the ivy had been chiseled in big block letters over the front door.
Thats a nice name for a building, Lula said, except theres no ivy anywhere around.
I parked at the curb, and we entered the small foyer.
There were rows of mailboxes on one wall and two elevators on the opposite wall.
We took the elevator to the fifth floor, and I rang the bell at 5B.
A man answered and squinted out at us.
Lula elbowed me and mouthed,mediocre.
I introduced myself and explained that I needed to reclaim the coin.
No way, Sparks said.
Never gonna happen.
And he slammed the door shut and locked it.
He caught me by surprise, I said.
Youre lucky you dont get your fake bounty hunter badge revoked.
Why didnt you put your foot in the door?
Look at my shoes.
Do they look like foot-in-the-door shoes?
These shoes are Manolo knockoffs.
Notice the pointy toe and five-inch stiletto heel.
I rang the doorbell a couple hundred times and pounded on the door, but Sparks didnt respond.
We need someone to kick the door down, Lula said to me.
Obviously I cant do it in my Manolos.
And we know youre inept at door kicking.
Beedle was standing behind us.
We turned and looked down at his foot in the orthopedic boot.
Its made out of foam and plastic, Beedle said.
And that looks like a metal fire door.
He might be right about the door, Lula said.
We need a blowtorch.
Anybody got a blowtorch?
Connie was being held hostage somewhere.
I didnt know the circumstances.
They could be awful.
She could be injured.
She could be scared .
although who knew with Connie.
Connie didnt scare easily.
Id done okay with finding a lead on the coin, but I was at a temporary dead end.
I called Morelli when we got back to my car.
I heard about Paul Mori and Im curious, I said.
Are there any persons of interest?
Approximately two hundred thirty people hated him.
Aside from that, no.
Were there cameras at his dry-cleaning shop?
Schmidt is the principal on the case.
I imagine hes looking into it.
Why are you asking?
There might be a connection with Connies disappearance.
I sat through a moment of silence on Morellis end.
And Ill tell you about it later.
I imagined Morelli was staring down at his shoe, making an effort to keep his composure.
He knew I was withholding information.
You arent going rogue on me, are you?
Lula looked at me when I disconnected from Morelli.
I bet he loved that conversation.
He accused me of going rogue.
I hope shes not dead, Lula said.
I hate when people are dead.
Grandma gave a snort and sat up.
I was just resting my eyes.
Anything happen while we were gone?
Its been real quiet.
Did you get the coin?
No, I said, but we know where it is.
I came back so I could use Connies computer.
I want to do a search on Melvin Sparks.
Grandma got up, and I sat down.
I cleared the screen of bingo and poker apps and fed Sparks into one of Connies search engines.
All the usual stuff appeared.
Age, address, education.
There was nothing derogatory.
Occupation was listed as a merchandise stocker at Scoopers.
Thats why he was at home on a Tuesday afternoon, I thought.
He works the night shift stocking shelves.
I called Scoopers employment and asked about jobs stocking shelves.
I was told that the night shift started at nine oclock and ran until three in the morning.
I have a situation, I said.
I could use some help.
Babe, Ranger said.
Depending on the inflection, babe means many things in Ranger-speak.
It can be as simple as hello or as complex as take off your clothes.
In this case it meant that he was listening.
I gave him the short version of Connies kidnapping.
You realize that paying ransom doesnt always guarantee a happy ending, Ranger said.
Its all I have right now.
We dont know for sure how Paul Mori got the coin.
The caller said he stole it.
Its most likely that Mori found it in something brought in for dry cleaning.
He had a reputation for keeping found objects.
Have you checked security cameras?
Even if Mori had cameras, I have no way to access them.
So, youre concentrating on the coin.
Unfortunately, Sparks isnt cooperating.
It isnt as if hes a bad guy.
I mean hes not dealing drugs or mugging old ladies.
Does he know the circumstances?
That might make a difference, Ranger said.
He might also blab it all over town.
I cant risk it.
Thats why I need to get into Sparkss apartment.
Youre going to steal the coin, Ranger said.
Theres only one door to his apartment and its a metal fire door.
There are double-hung windows but hes on the fifth floor of an eight-story building.
Its a corner building.
I need help getting in.
No problem, Ranger said.
When do you want to do this?
He stocks merchandise at Scoopers on the night shift.
Night shift starts at nine oclock.
Ill pick you up at nine oclock, Ranger said.
And he was gone.
Ranger and I have a complicated relationship.
Theres a lot of attraction between us that has on occasion been satisfied.
Currently theres no satisfaction.
At least not sexual.
Im available if you need help with the B & E, Grandma said.
Im good at sneaking around in the dark.
Thanks for the offer, I said, but this should be a simple operation.
Ranger will get me in, well find the coin and lock up after ourselves.
My phone buzzed with a text.
It says, Were done with him.
I imagine this is referring to Brad Winter.
The cute blackmailer, Grandma said.
What with everything else going on, Id completely forgotten about him.
I checked my watch.
It was almost one oclock.
Does Mom know youre here?
I called and told her that after church I had to fill in for Vinnie.
Ten minutes later, Lula and I were on our way to Winters house on Oak Street.
I had one hand on the wheel and the other hand wrapped around a ham and cheese sandwich.
It was real nice of your mom to bring these sandwiches, Lula said.
Youve got a helpful family.
Thats the way it should be.
And this is an excellent sandwich.
Not that I would expect any less from your mom.
She has everything in just the right order.
Mustard on one side, then ham, then cheese, then theres a second deli meat.
I think it might be turkey.
And she ends with mayo.
And she doesnt ruin it with healthy bread.
This is fresh white bread.
I bet its from the bakery.
What do you think?
I dont know, I said.
I didnt notice any of those things.
Thats your problem, she said.
You dont notice these things because you arent mindful.
I do mindful eating.
I got mindfulness up my ass.
I could coach you to be mindful, if you want.
You just let me know when.
Im not sure I have time to be mindful.
I mostly do the speed version.
Im mindful in a hurry.
Like noticing the mustard on the sandwich didnt slow me down from eating it.
Smart, I said.
ChapterSix
Oak Street was quiet at this time of the day.
No people or cars in sight.
I must be missing something about Brad Winter, Lula said.
I got his file information here, but I dont understand about somebody being done with him.
Grandma and I had Winter in cuffs.
And now theyre giving him back to you?
You gotta love this job.
Theres always crazy shit happening.
And you like that.
Who doesnt like crazy shit?
I like when things are safe and sane.
Yeah, but you got a job thats almost never safe or sane.
I dont feel messed up.
Then maybe its that youre full of doody when you say you like safe and sane.
Maybe you really like crazy shit but dont want to admit it.
You could be in denial about the crazy-shit side of you.
Not that denial is always a bad thing.
Its one of them mental health tools.
Im not necessarily a big procrasterbator myself, but I could see where it serves a purpose.
I mean, everybody does it at one time or another.
We left my CR-V and walked to the front door.
I rang the bell.
The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in and found Winter in the middle of the living room.
He was on the floor, naked, gagged, and hog-tied, completely hairless, head to toe.
His sheet had been laundered, neatly folded, and placed beside him.
Damn, Lula said.
Was he like this when you saw him last?
He was naked, but he wasnt tattooed.
And he had hair.
Pervert and Blackmailer had been tattooed across his forehead in fancy script.
The words were surrounded by swirls that eventually ended in Devils tails.
I thought it probably cost the ladies a fortune.
I like that they inked him in a lot of bright colors, Lula said.
Makes it more interesting.
And it makes the black ink stand out more.
Like you’re able to really see the message saying hes a pervert and blackmailer.
I took the gag out of his mouth.
Im going to kill them, he said.
I wouldnt do that if I was you, Lula said.
Theyll throw you in prison forever and you might not be happy there.
She turned to me.
Now, this is what Im talking about.
Not everybody gets to see stuff like this.
The tattoo artist showed some talent and a real steady hand.
I was caught between bursting out laughing and losing my lunch.
I would be happy to live the rest of my life without seeing anything like this ever again.
Still, I had to give the women credit for a job well done.
And from the condition of the house, it was clear that theyd done a search.
Did they get everything?
They got enough, he said.
How are we going to get him out to the car?
You want me to cut the ropes?
Hes already wearing my cuffs.
We got him standing, wrapped him in the sheet, and helped him hobble to the car.
So, Im thinking you knew the women who snatched you, I said to Winter.
And Im curious because they all looked alike.
They were all blond.
In fact, they looked like they had their hair done at the same salon.
They all had diamond studs, and they were wearing Lululemon.
Ive got a throw in, Winter said.
I like blond trophy wives.
These wives must have got the memo about how to dress for a revenge party, Lula said.
Theyre trophy wives, Winter said.
They all dress like that.
Youre an idiot, I said to Winter, and I shoved him into the backseat.
My grandmother was alone in the office when Lula and I returned.
Your mother had to go to the market and then home to get dinner started, Grandma said.
Were having chicken parm tonight in case you want some.
Count me in, Lula said.
Id just as leave not be alone, thinking about Connie.
Sure, I said.
Ill be there, too.
Were there any calls while we were gone?
None, Grandma said.
I didnt check the email.
Its got a password on it.
No problem, I said.
Lula can check it, and Ill give you a ride home.
Theres nothing else I can do until Ranger and I get the coin back tonight.
Perfect, Grandma said.
Ill get home in time to help your mother with dinner.
Sometimes she has too much hooch and pounds the bejeezus out of the chicken.
I dropped Grandma off and drove to Pinos.
Connies car was still there.
It had a red-and-black police sticker on it.
Im sitting in Pinos lot, looking at Connies car, I said.
It has a police sticker on it.
I had the crime lab go over it, but they didnt find anything unusual.
You might want to move the car, so it doesnt get vandalized.
Theres nothing about Connie on my end.
Do you know anything?
I have some ideas.
You had ideas earlier, Morelli said.
I still have the same ideas.
I thought I would venture to talk to Bella today.
I dont suppose you want to come with me?
Im up to my eyeballs in paperwork and Im the only one here if a call comes in.
Two guys are out with the flu.
Is this the blue flu?
No, this is flu like the plague.
I drove to Connies house and got an extra set of car keys from her mother.
Are you doing okay?
Do you need help with anything?
No, but itll be good to get the car back.
Have you seen it?
Did it look like it had been in the river?
The car looks like Connie just parked it at Pinos.
Its not damaged at all.
Im sure Connie is fine and will turn up any day now.
Mrs. Rosolli nodded and wiped a tear away.
I gave her a hug and left.
Id wanted to give Mrs. Rosolli some comfort, some reassurance that Connie was okay.
I didnt entirely believe what Id said to her.
It was more that I hoped it was true.
I was feeling a lot of pain over Connie.
I couldnt imagine what it must be like for her mom.
I drove deeper into the Burg and idled in front of Morellis mothers house.
It was slightly larger than my parents house.
Living room, dining room, kitchen downstairs.
Single-car detached garage sitting in the back corner of the small backyard.
Id been in the house on several occasions and was always terrified of Joes mother and grandmother.
They were stern matriarchs who protected their family no matter the circumstances.
And they put up with no nonsense from outsiders.
Joes father had been an abusive drunk.
No one was sorry when he passed.
I honestly didnt know what to think about her ability to give someone the eye.
It was a little like my position as a Catholic.
I was lacking true faith, but the fear of God was strong.
Are you going in or are you going to procrasterbate?
I took my foot off the brake.
I was going to procrasterbate.
I didnt want to confront Grandma Bella.
It was going to be unpleasant at best and hideous at worst.
Id have to do another emergency bond, or even worse, leave her in jail overnight.
The thought sent a shiver of horror down my spine.
If I left Bella in jail overnight, she wouldnt just give me the eye .
shed come after me with a hatchet.
I drove to the office, picked Lula up, and dropped her at Pinos.
I dont think Connie drove her car to Pinos.
The seat was pushed way back like a man with longer legs was driving it.
Lula put my air-conditioning on full blast.
Im having a moment, here.
I felt myself choking up and I pushed the emotion away.
Dont get overwhelmed, I told myself.
Keep making an effort to remain normal so you’re free to think.
Its important to stay sharp.
