This is the second in a three-part series.
Read Bellows' first column, which covers her introduction to manifestation,here.
This is my big chance to launch a lucrative side hustle and leave unemployment behind.
But nerves are taking over.
At 2:30 a.m. my time, my heart pounds as the tech adjusts my mic.
The emcee introduces me.
I step onto the stage, jittery from too much coffee, staring into blinding lights.
The room is packed with 300 travel tech executives, but I cant see past the first row.
My carefully prepared slides guide me, but my throat tightens, and I stumble over the data.
A bearded man in the front row yawns.
The emcee interrupts me to hand me water, her expression confirming what I fear Im bombing.
Finally, its over.
I sit back down in the audience, deflated and drained, cortisol surging through my system.
No one offers a word of encouragement.
Its one of the lowest professional moments of my life.
I was in a dark place that morning, and not for the first time.
But with so much uncertainty about my home, job and future, discouragement prevailed.
My setbacks were like the thought version of earworms, those catchy tunes stuck on repeat in your head.
Several promising house showings fell through, prompting youre never going to sell your house.
Watch the self-judgment it never helps, she said gently, and not for the first time.
Apparently, its my pattern.
Reach for the happiest thought that it’s possible for you to.
The better we feel, the better life goes.
Identifying what you want pre-paves your future.
This is the big theme of her TED Talk,The Dark Side of Self-Improvement.
Eder coaches me to make healthy choices with my thoughts, just as I do with my other habits.
Why its important to be gentle with yourself
The benefit of positive self-talk is well known.
As we grow up, our minds are programmed by experiences and the messages we receive.
Cognitive behavior therapy is a therapeutic approach designed to identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
It counters negativity bias, a natural tendency to focus on negative stimuli.
